All That Mattered
by captainsong
Summary: In the weeks following Amon's defeat, Bolin had changed. His thoughts consumed him and ruled him all at once. -I have no idea where this one came from, but I'm glad I got it out of my system. I hope it isn't too out of character, and I hope you enjoy it.-


It was hard, harder than even he had thought it would be. Watching Korra and Mako together was quite possibly one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. But he continued to bury his emotions deep within himself everyday so that he could keep them both happy.

It was days like this when he found himself questioning why in Aang's name he kept on doing it. Why hadn't he just summoned up the nerve to tell her how he really felt when he had had the chance to? Ever since things had calmed down there had been a lot of days like that. Bolin had found himself buried knee deep in unanswered questions more often than he'd like to admit. He lay on his mattress, his expression solemn, his eyes trained on the ceiling above. The hard pitter patter of rain against the windows filled the room, but the sound was lost to Bolin. He was too absorbed in his own thoughts. His thoughts of Korra, and of Mako. They consumed him. It was painful, and yet he couldn't fight them off. Whenever he was alone, they would come and he found himself completely defenseless against them.

In the weeks that had passed, he had hardened against them all. He was so unlike himself now. He looked in the mirror and he hardly recognized the hollow face that looked back at him. Those wonderfully green eyes, so full of life and emotion, no longer sparkled so. His stomach was an empty pit that clenched and writhed and kept him awake at night, so consumed with self-loathing.

Korra was lost to him now, busy with her duties as the Avatar and as his brother's lover. He could hardly meet either one of their glances when he passed them by on his way back to his room. He couldn't help but wonder whether they ever thought about him, whether they had ever considered that they were the cause of his sudden change in character, and whether or not they even cared enough to ask. He wondered if perhaps Asami had felt something similar to how he was feeling when she learned of his brother's actions. Acting on this thought, Bolin quietly padded across the wooden floor, exiting his room. The sound of the rain falling harder now became apparent to him as he pulled on his shirt and shoes. He trudged out into the heavy downpour, making his way towards the girl's dorm. A few damp strands of hair clung to his cheeks and his shoes gave a deafening squeak as they made contact with the dry floor boards. Bolin cringed at the sound, swiftly pulling the thoroughly soaked shoes off and leaning them against the doorway.

He tiptoed along the silent halls, past the sliding doors that belonged to the airbender children. He paused for a brief moment at Korra's door, just long enough to make out her silhouette. A light sound caught his attention, a sound that would have been insignificant to any other. He brushed it off for a second, but again it met his ears. He waited to hear it again, and when he did he immediately recognized it as the nearly silent sobs of his once beloved. His heart lurched into his throat, and he balled up his fists in irritation. This was not why he had come down here. But there she was, just behind that paper thin barrier, upset by someone or something.

He took a deep breath and released the tension that had built up in his shoulders. His hand moved to slide the door open, but he was caught off guard when Korra opened it instead. She stood there in the dim night light. Even in the dark, it was apparent that she had been crying. She clutched her arms to herself, so vulnerable, so unlike Korra. Bolin looked at her, completely unsure of what to do or say.

"What are you doing out here?" she whispered, her gaze not meeting his.

Bolin swallowed the lump in his throat, silently fumbling over his words before responding. "I- I was just... I was coming to see Asami, actually." Korra looked up at him.

"Asami?" she questioned. "Why?"

"I wanted to talk to her."

"About what?"

"It doesn't matter."

Korra was silent for a moment. "I saw you. You were standing out here, outside of my door. Why?"

"I heard you crying, Korra. That's why I was out here. I wanted to help you."

"Bolin-,"

"No, Korra, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been out here in the first place. I'll just go. I'll talk to Asami later." He turned, prepared to leave, to go back to his room and suffer through another sleepless night, but Korra's hand met his own, forcing him to stay.

"Bolin, I was," she took a deep breath, her sharp eyes meeting his. "I was crying because of you." She paused a moment to let her words resonate with him. "I've been so worried about you, Bolin. You- you just haven't been the same for weeks. And I know it's my fault now. I never realized how much I hurt you before. And I let it get too far. I hurt you, Bo, and I was so worried that you were going to do something stupid. I'm so sorry."

Bolin blinked in confusion, her words ringing in his ears. Was this real life? No, it couldn't have been. It had to be a dream. And yet, there was no denying how real her cold hand felt wrapped around his own. Something within him shattered then. The icy shroud around his heart melted and gave way to a new and intensely burning fire. The darkness that had washed over him was giving way to light. It was a sudden change to overcome the sudden change that had been ruling his life. A million new questions flooded his mind, all of which were along the lines of _what was wrong with me?_ and _why was I acting that way?_ All of which he had no answers to. But he didn't mind, because in that moment Korra needed him, and he very much needed Korra. His muscled arms pulled her into him, her head resting against his chest. He whispered into her dark locks, "I'm sorry Korra. I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened, but I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Bo. Just never leave me like that again. I love you, okay?" She buried her face into his neck, reveling in the warmth of his skin.

Bolin knew that the love she had for him wasn't the same kind of love he had for her, but it didn't matter. He had checked out before and had caused her pain, and he vowed right then and there to never do it again. It didn't matter that she was with Mako; it should never have mattered at all. But that was out of his control. He gave her a comforting squeeze, knowing that this would probably be the most intimate moment he and Korra would ever share. "I'll never let that happen again, Korra. I'll always be here."

As Bolin walked back to his dorm, his damp clothes clinging to his skin, he replayed his encounter with Korra in his head several times. He knew that what happened would be a secret kept carefully by the both of them, but he was okay with that, because now he was completely sure of one thing and one alone. He loved Korra more than anything in the world. And that was all that mattered.


End file.
